


Disasters in Flirting

by preciousbunnynoiz



Series: Silliness!!! on Ice! [17]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Oblivious Katsuki Yuuri, POV Original Character, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-20 23:53:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11345733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preciousbunnynoiz/pseuds/preciousbunnynoiz
Summary: Yuuri doesn't notice flirting. Not when people are flirting with him and not when they are flirting with Victor





	1. Oh My God Flirting is Scary

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [this tumblr post](https://ineffectualdemon.tumblr.com/post/162389764684/pearlo-codenamecesare-pearlo-pearlo-so)

Ivan had been trying to get the attention of the Japanese cutie at Lilia’s for weeks now.

Yes Ivan knew this new guy was engaged to Victor Nikiforov but he wasn’t one to be put off by that.

From the first moment he’d seen Yuuri dancing in the studio he knew he had to bed the man. His thighs could kill and Ivan would die happy between them.

Yuuri was friendly but didn’t seem to really get that all the coffees, casual touches and other overtures were flirting.

Which meant Ivan was going to have to go extremely obvious to counter act the obliviousness.

He lingered in the studio for Yuuri who greeted him in the usual friendly manner.

“Hey Yuuri?” Ivan started as he slipped his shirt off leaving him in just his tights (without a dance belt) his lower regions showing interest as Yuuri bent over to dig his water bottle out of his bag.

“Yeah Ivan?” Yuuri turned and squeaked finding Ivan half naked and far closer than he expected.

“I really like you Yuuri” Ivan ran a hand down Yuuri’s front before he palmed himself through his tights, “ _Really_ like you”

Yuuri squeaked again and then fled to the other side of the room where he pulled out his phone calling someone while staring at Ivan all red faced and adorable.

Ivan wondered if he was going to get into trouble with Lilia.

“Victor! I’ve got a problem! I think I’m being hit on!” Yuuri hissed into the phone, Ivan was thrown. He hadn’t expected Yuuri to call his fiancé.

“Victor that’s not the point!...No it isn’t! …Fine! I guess so? I don’t know!...Fine!” Yuuri took the phone from his ear and took a quick picture of Ivan who was staring at him stunned as Yuuri tapped away at his phone before returning it to his ear. “There now can you tell me what to do?” There was a pause before Yuuri actually looked at Ivan, “Victor says you’re quite pretty but not pretty enough for him to justify a threesome which I would just like to say was never on the table in the first place. NO Victor!” the last two words were directed back into the phone.

Ivan had never felt more awkward.

He thought about putting his shirt on but felt that would make things even weirder.

He watched as Yuuri listened intently to his fiancé for a few more minutes before saying goodbye and I love you and hanging up.

Yuuri took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his hands spread wide in front of him, before he looked at Ivan properly again.

“Okay. First of all, I’m very flattered but I’m monogamous. Sorry polyamory isn’t for me. Not that there’s anything wrong with it! Also, frankly while you’re nice and all you’re not my type in the first place.” Yuuri gave a crooked smile “Also my fiancé has told me to apologise for leading you on accidentally. I didn’t mean to! I’m just really really bad at noticing when people are interested in me.”

Ivan put his shirt back on. He couldn’t get any more humiliated than he was.

“It’s fine” it wasn’t, “I’ll probably see you around but not for a little while. This was kind of embarrassing”

Yuuri gave a pained little smile.

“Again I’m flattered and sorry.”

Ivan shrugged and grabbed his bag.

“Don’t be. I’ll see myself out.”

_____

(Text conversation)

 **Victor:** How did it go with ballet boy?

 **Yuuri:** I think he’s a bit mad

 **Victor:** Accidental heart-throb Yuuri strikes again!

 **Yuuri:** I don’t get hit on nearly as often as you and Phichit thinks.

 **Victor:** You can’t buy a coffee without getting a phone number

 **Yuuri:** those aren’t phone numbers

 **Victor:** what?

 **Yuuri:** Every coffee sold has a unique number written on it. I think it’s some sort of barista code. Those are the only numbers I get on my coffees. Aren’t they on all coffees?

 **Victor:** …I love you so much


	2. Go Be Sexy with Someone Else I'm too Busy Playing Fire Emblem

“You look great Victor! You’ll be modelling with Eva today” the photographer gestured to Eva who was doing her best to ooze glamour and sophistication. Victor gave her his most winning press smile and extended his hand.

“Lovely to meet you Eva” he shook her hand with a firm grip.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too. It’s not every day one meets a living legend after all” she purred leaning in slightly. Victor gave a small little smile and she crowed inside. The rumours about his engagement seemed very false considering how he was responding her to her flirting.

Eva glanced around the room as Victor and the photographer talked a bit of shop and frowned slightly when she noticed a young man slouching in a chair nearby. She thought she’d been introduced to all the staff. He seemed rather plain and dumpy, plus he had a bad attitude. He was just slouched and playing some sort of game on what she recognised as a DS (she had bought one for her niece for Christmas) he hardly seemed professional.

She frowned a tad bit more before the photographer asked her a question and she was drawn back to the task at hand forgetting all about the strange DS boy. Instead she took the opportunity to flirt with Victor Nikiforov. She laughed lightly and charmingly at his jokes and laid a delicate hand on his arm more than once getting a raised eyebrow from him. True he wasn’t reciprocating but he wasn’t flat out rejecting either. She had a chance.

She greatly enjoyed the photoshoot with Victor’s arms around her, his face pressed to the side of her hair, his hands on her waist…she felt they had amazing chemistry. She was going to ask him to dinner when she noticed he was getting tense.

The mood shifted and Victor seemed to be getting agitated and on edge. It started to make her feel awkward and on edge as well.

The photographer sighed and stepped away from the camera.

“Okay Victor, go get your fix” he sighed.

Fix? Did Victor take drugs?

Eva barely had time to think that before Victor was gone, he’d crossed the studio quickly and was now sitting in the lap of the DS boy she’d noticed before. DS boy had put down his DS and was smiling at Victor who was peppering his face with kisses. They cuddled and kissed a few more times before DS boy gently pushed Victor off his lap and walked with him back to where Eva was sitting with the photographer.

“Vitya’s ready to show the world how sexy he is again” DS boy informed the photographer. Victor was nearly bouncing like an excitable puppy. His hands clenched up towards his chest.

“I’m going to show the world what a great trophy-husband I am for my love! Are you going to watch me Yuuri! Watch me being sexy for you!”  Victor bounced happily before noticing Eva and smirking, “Oh yeah I haven’t introduced you yet! Eva this is the light of my life, my soulmate, my better half, the most beautiful man in the world, Yuuri Katsuki! Yuuri this is Eva, she’s a nice girl.”

Eva forced herself to smile. So Victor was engaged but what did he see in this dumpy guy with nerdy glasses and lumpy unfashionable sweaters.

Then Yuuri smiled at her, his face lighting up.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you! You’re the current Prima for the Bolshoi ballet company aren’t you? Victor took me to see your Swan Lake! You were gorgeous in it!”

 _“Crap”_ Eva thought as she took in the way he lit up the room with his smile.

“Thank you” she managed to get out.

Yuuri kissed his fiancé’s cheek before retiring to his chair and pulling out his DS again.

“Now you get it” Victor said not unkindly as they both stood staring at his fiancé.

Eva took a breath.

“If I’m going to be rejected by you I guess it’s okay since you have him.” It cost nothing for Eva to admit that. She was strong, you had to be in ballet.

“I mean I’m also gay so that’s a factor but I’m glad you appreciate how great he is” Victor said with a laugh before turning back to the camera.

And it was fine really.

Though now she felt she shouldn’t make fun of Ivan and his pointless pining quite so much.


End file.
